We are inviting ourselves in. Hope you are ready!
Imagine for a moment what people would think of you if they witnessed all the things you do in the comfort of your own home.
Imagine if every single person in our community showed up at your doorstep at this very moment and let themselves inside your house. Neighbors, the media, friends from across town, elected officials, internet trolls…
It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, or what you might have going on. You may be just getting up, or have already gone to sleep for the night. Perhaps you have guests, or maybe you’re just finishing dinner or getting ready for work. Maybe you have kids and you’re getting ready for bedtime. It really doesn’t matter. We are all coming into your house right now. It’s time for us all to examine your entire life and all of your living conditions.
I really hope you’ve done your laundry, cleaned the bathroom, done the dishes and taken out your trash. Complete strangers will go through your mail, medicine cabinets, dresser drawers, and work spaces. We are going to take photos of all your belongings —especially your mess.
People will have questions for you, especially about your past and the way you’re living your life. How you answer may or may not determine how you’re viewed by the entire outside world. People will draw their own conclusions, especially when everything people find out about your life, regardless of the circumstances, is aired tonight on the 10 o’clock news, and printed in tomorrow’s newspaper.
The story will no doubt be posted online, and shared a thousand times over on social media. Everyone will have an opinion about your life. Hundreds of anonymous commenters will weigh in about all of your life choices, ranging from the food you eat to the shampoo you use to how clean your refrigerator or bathroom is to how you are spending and budgeting your money.
So-called experts will provide social commentary and comment on your behavior and lifestyle. Some will argue on your behalf, while others will talk about everything that’s wrong with you. Your voice won’t matter so much. Your rights won’t either. At some point the outside world will determine if your experience is deserving of people’s empathy and support, or not.
Government officials, the media and the general public will then debate whether you should be welcomed by the community, or excommunicated based upon the life you’ve presented in our surprise visit.
Elected officials will determine public policy based upon your behavior, cleanliness, and ability to maintain your sanity given the extraordinary circumstances. Please don’t overreact, or show any kind of emotional response. It will surely be used against you. Best case scenario, you’ll be asked to leave the place you sleep, and go to a shelter. Worst case scenario is, you’ll be taken to jail for resisting arrest for refusing to leave your own home.
The truth is witnessing anyone suffering on the streets is uncomfortable. It’s also very stressful for individuals and families living on the streets. That’s why it’s important for all of us to remember what people on the streets are actually experiencing.
What do you think people would think of you if they witnessed every single one of your human behaviors this week in responses to any number of life situations? Would your friends and neighbors look at you differently if they witnessed you having a disagreement with a family member or a partner? What about when you’ve received some really lousy news, like a friend or family member passing away or losing your job? What about when you just need a good cry?
What do you think people might think differently of you if they saw you talking to yourself in the kitchen, or doing a happy dance in the living room or witnessing what you look like after binge watching 12 straight episodes of your favorite Netflix show. I’m guessing it’s not pretty. I’m almost positive people would think I’m a little strange if people watched me standing in my living space dancing and passionately belting out my favorite Michael Franti songs with a hair brush for a microphone. Talk about embarrassing.
What about having people watching you use the restroom, or standing over you while you slept at night or walking into your house or bedroom unannounced. Talk about being freaked out and paranoid. When you’re experiencing homelessness and sleeping in a public space there is no safe place to be. There’s no turning on a security alarm, or locking your door, or turning on a porch light at the end of the night. You’re completely exposed to the world. It’s more than a dangerous place to be, especially if you’re a woman, a person of color, trans and/or gay. Let’s not forget the larger world we live in.
Of course, none of this means that bad shit isn’t happening on the streets, or people don’t have the right to be upset when our local government is not providing basic sanitation and trash pick-up for people experiencing homelessness or treatment services for human beings struggling with addiction on our streets. In some cases, people have every right to be pissed. Still, most rational human beings can understand there’s more to what’s happening on our streets than meets the eye. It’s a matter of perspective.
The reality is what would be perfectly normal behavior in the confines of one’s own home can appear to be abnormal when done by people experiencing homelessness in the public eye. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with people on the streets, it means something is wrong with our systems. It means folks experiencing homelessness don’t have the luxury of privacy. It means hundreds of thousands of individuals and families should not be judged for not having a safe and stable place to call home. It means housing (and privacy) matter!